Hi. My name is Will and I have an editing problem. There aren’t any refreshments in the back and the doors are being bolted shut from the outside. OK, now that everyone has stopped screaming, I can start my second post on editing.

I think one of my biggest stumbling blocks when it comes to editing is that I see it as this gargantuan iceberg. It’s as big as Mexico, topped with ratty little pissed off penguins, and of course 90% of it is underwater. #@&$!!#* Just a second while I check if “underwater” is “under-water” or “under water.” Super, “underwater” is a word. There are so many rules about grammar and so many things we get wrong because there are so many rules. I understand that rules bring clarity. If we didn’t have grammar rules the English language would still consist of 150 different dialects and be stuck in the dark ages. Some argue, that as the hardest language to learn to speak, it should have been left back there to rot. But no, after almost every other civilized society formed grammar rules and wrote a dictionary, the English eventually got the great idea to tag along as well.

To even have a frigg’n clue as to how to follow most of these rules you need to pound into your head the parts of speech that make up the English language. What sucks about the parts of speech is that you have to wrap your mind around them and then just remember them. David Blaine will not pull them out of your ass when you need them and no one will EVER care that you know them. But we need them to fathom grammar rules, so go grab your funnel and a cocking gun of K-Y and lets try and learn us some. Read the rest of this entry »

Don’t edit my rant. I’ll do it myself.

Admitting you have a problem is the first step. In the middle of editing class I was on the college web site with my finger on the “Drop this course” button, when a friend convinced me to sleep on it. I couldn’t take it anymore. The instructor advised me to have a chat with an editing guru to get my head straight. I wasn’t into doing anymore editing exercises so I was hesitant. The guru didn’t point me toward more torture – she suggested some books and this blog entry as therapy.

I’ve been a writer since I was old enough to string two words together on paper, and I’ve hated editing since I was old enough to know what a spelling bee was. Up until just a few months ago, it wasn’t uncommon for you to hear me simply state, “I can’t spell. Go ask someone else.” The truth of the matter is that I can spell most words correctly.  But there are quite a few words out there that most of you can spell that I can not. I’m 38, in college and I can still remember when I recently beat the spelling of “college” into my meaty head. Spelling aside I also hate punctuation. I have this sadomasochistic relationship with “it’s” and “its” that would make a crack junky look up in awe.

As part of the writing program I’ve admitted myself into, I must complete the Editing course 1230 with a grade C or higher.  I say “admitted” because this program is so intense and fraught with dropouts it might as well be a Narcotics Anonymous rehab centre. (And yes, I spellchecked “anonymous” right there.) As a child, did you ever have a recurring nightmare about an old vampire with a chainsaw chasing you on an abandon shipping dock through thick fog at night? I had this nightmare for years as a kid and this editing course is as close as I’ve felt to running for my life in my PJs as ever. Sitting every week through nearly four hours of this class – all I can think of is, “Wake up! Wake up!” 1230 even affects me physically. I’m far from having Adult ADHD, but within minutes I get fidgety and I have a hard time concentrating. I either hate editing or they need to up my Gabitril dose.

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Judgmentalism is a bitch.  I still haven’t decided if I’m going to go on a full blown rant about this or if I’m going to try and hold back.  I’d like to go on a balls out rant because it’s rare I actually find something that pisses me off so much and that I’m also guilty of.  I am working on not being an extremely judgmental person.  I think it’s got to be a hereditary condition that’s passed on from one or both of your parents whether you like it or not.

My judgmentalism has never left me with a pleasant feeling when I’ve  looked directly into its ugly face, yet subconsciously I have carried it around like some severely perverted badge of holiness.  Just because my beliefs are different from another’s, does that give me the right to judge them?   Read the rest of this entry »

Incomplete communication or a badly translated idea always leads to someone getting offended.  A good chunk of the hate in the world seems to boil down to the fact that we all interpret things in different ways based on our own experiences.  There are also those people that live life everyday within the same society and still manage to offend someone on a semi-daily basis.  I’m one of those guys.  At least I was, but I’m getting better now.  The Barenaked Ladies said it best; “I have the tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve.  I have a history of taking off my shirt.”  I don’t mind people who talk from the hip like they’re in a Clint Eastwood movie because I can relate to them, but everyone else isn’t in a western and it’s easy to offend people reading out Dirty Harry lines.  All of which brings me to the topic of change.  Sooner or later we all come to a place in our lives where we realize that life goes by so much better the fewer people we offend and the more people we get along with.  As many of you may know, I’m currently taking some fairly intense courses at college.  In amongst the classes and scary amounts of homework, I learned something that blew my mind a little bit.  (bear with me all you smart people who never offend anyone) :

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HOW THE WORLD BECAME A CORPORATION AND HOW TO TAKE IT BACK

By Douglas Rushkoff

I got mugged on Christmas Eve. I was in front of my Brooklyn apartment house taking out the trash when a man pulled a gun and told me to empty my pockets. I gave him my money, wallet, and cell phone. But then—remembering some- thing I’d seen in a movie about a hostage negotiator—I begged him to let me keep my medical-insurance card. If I could humanize myself in his perception, I figured, he’d be less likely to kill me.

He accepted my argument about how hard it would be for me to get “care” without it, and handed me back the card. Now it was us two against the establishment, and we made something of a deal: in ex- change for his mercy, I wasn’t to report him—even though I had plainly seen his face. I agreed, and he ran off down the street. I foolishly but steadfastly stood by my side of the bargain, however coerced it may have been, for a few hours. As if I could have actually entered into a binding contract at gunpoint.

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(Posted with permission from Laura Bell at BellBusinessReport.com)

A WRITER’S ODE

If we could wakeup and find all those sites (newspapers and others) who promise ‘paid work’ (when they mean nickels) have vanished. They would be out of business and others who actually have a budget to pay us will be there instead.

The day will come that editors, accountants, website owners, publishers and more will know they have to pay us in a certain timeline. They will no longer talk down to us when we ask to get paid.

There will no longer be ads for writers with a great ‘opportunity.’ Those who don’t have a budget will be eliminated.

With all this change, we will have the self-pride we lack currently. We will sit up proudly at any time announcing we are a freelance writer. It will become a viable profession, respected by all.

Of course, all nutty editors who change their mind too many times to count or don’t return our phone calls will vanish in one fell-swoop from the planet.

Think all this impossible. It was only a few years back that the New York Times refused to pay freelancers for work they wanted to use in print and the Web. They thought they could put it where they wanted and not have to pay any more. There was a boycott by the National Writers’ Union.

Accept the status quo and nothing will change.

Laura Bell “101 Things You Didn’t Learn In Harvard Business School”

I have a good idea as to how the topic of sex became taboo, perverted and one to be avoided by all reverent religious types, but it’s probably about time we took it back and looked at it for the blessing that it is.  That being said, we can move on.

Ejaculating for men is like sneezing.  Guys have that first unexplained inhale that leads to a ‘’sneeze’’ one to seven hours after their last “sneeze”, no matter how good or long that last “sneeze” was.  It just starts building up again.  Men would strongly prefer to share the experience with their partner but if we’re not given the opportunity, we’ll “sneeze” in the shower, in our man cave, or even unconsciously while we’re sleeping.  Either way, that sneeze is coming out.  There’s nothing any man or woman can do to stop it.  And if you doubt this fact go ask a Physician or consult any Medical Journal on the topic.

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Addiction:compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance characterized by tolerance and by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal; broadly : persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful.

Addicted:physically and mentally dependent on a substance, and unable to stop taking it without incurring adverse effects. Enthusiastically devoted to a particular thing or activity.

Compulsive:resulting from or relating to an irresistible urge.

I used to be addicted to pornography. I successfully battle to keep my freedom from its evil and I am firmly of the conviction that I will always battle.

There are a few basic truths that help me win this battle, and they are not the ineffectual reasonings on the obvious ramifications of failure or invigorating one’s impotent will power. If you have a bad habit you don’t need to know why it’s bad; you know it’s bad. These factualities are effective, long term, and central to any addiction recovery success, (however gargantuan or microscopic the problem may seem to be).

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Reposted with permission from Bill Ruesch. Originally posted at his site: Talking Through My Hat

80% living on 20% leftover’s

Déjà vu?
I learned just this year that the CIA (Central Intelligence Agency) publishes a report (link) on the Internet about the United States. I was reviewing the section on the economy that was updated on August 13, 2009. In the middle of the report is this statement, “Since 1975, practically all the gains in household income have gone to the top 20% of households.” Furthermore, “The onrush of technology largely explains the gradual development of a ‘two-tier labor market’ in which those at the bottom lack the education, and the professional/technical skills of those at the top and more and more, fail to get comparable pay raises, health insurance coverage, and other benefits.”

No middle class–no small business

For 34 years the American middle class has been steadily shrinking. Where will we be when the middle class is gone? Will we be safer, healthier, or wealthier? When you think about it, small business, the backbone of the American economy is in serious danger. As the split widens between the haves and the have nots, who will buy the products and services of small business? It won’t be the big corporations, that’s for sure. What will this country be like when the splitting stops and 20% of the population control 80% of the wealth, and 80% have to live on what’s left?

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Times we think we’re right are probably times where we’ve got it wrong. The times we search, validate and pray will be the times we got it right.

Why does He most often speak to us in a still small voice?

Sometimes it’s as if He makes a small adjustment in our conscience. There’s no rime or reason we just feel that an action previously unknown to our inner mind suddenly weighs heavy on us as right or wrong.

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Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about my past failures and achievements. Well actually more about my failures. Times I’ve been autocratic, stubborn, caught hopelessly in a rut, rocketing off at breakneck speed in the wrong direction, allowing others to adversely effect my better judgement, not having any better judgement, not allowing others to influence my decisions, not giving the people I work with a fair chance, judging people unjustly, not taking criticism seriously, taking criticism far too seriously, acting out of fear or insecurity, not patiently planning out a course of action, allowing myself to be so wrapped up in myself to lost sight of purpose, or being just plain ignorant.

On the surface this is a horrible list of nasty flaws. It takes a humble honesty to search and bring to the surface shortcomings like these. This list of deficiencies also mark points in history where a course of action and education took place to prevent their recurrence.

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It’s exactly times like these that I don’t want to write or talk or even think.  The times I fall down, screw up, mess up, and generally do what I know I shouldn’t.  We’ve all felt the disappointment, resentment, failure, embarrassment, discouragement, depression, inadequacy, anger, disillusionment, pain, regret, separation, loneliness, condemnation, shame, guilt and all the rest that run amuck in our heads.

Out of this list one of the emotions stuck out more than the rest: condemnation.  Condemnation is, “the complete disproval of” or “to find guilty of a criminal act or wrong”.

Romans 8:1-2; “There is therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.  For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.”

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My wife said something to me the other night that struck a cord in my relationship with Jesus.  She was apologizing for not respecting one of my latest decisions and giving into fear and worry.  (A natural human response to the particular struggles we’re in the midst of.)  What struck a cord was that she also said she had been selfish and that being tired was no excuse.

It’s normal routine for me to be up between four thirty and six in the morning seeking God; spending some time in prayer and His word.  A couple of weeks ago we took the family camping and although I continued this tradition of communion through that time, ever since we got back it’s fallen by the wayside.

You have to understand, it’s rare that I actually wake myself up.  Of absolutely no credit to myself:God does it.  Lately I’ve just been saying, “I’m too tired…” [insert pathetic reason here e.g. I stayed up too late watching Battle Star Galactica etc].

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I can never pay it back.  I can never make it right.  God’s gift to us is life, paid by the sacrifice of His own life.  This has to be the hardest concept of Christianity.  Right from the very beginning when we hear of Christianity through some TV evangelist, Sunday school worker, neighbor, or kid at school it sounds utterly stupid.  Buddhism, Mormonism, Catholicism, Islam, Sikhism, Marxism, Taoism are all more humanly palatable because there is some facet of payment for wrongs.  Of all the beliefs in the world; Christianity, (at it’s heart being Jesus) is the very hardest to comprehend both inside and out.

Before we accept Jesus as our redeemer, (redeemer – one who pays a debt in full) of our sins/wrongs usually our greatest struggle isn’t over the fact that Jesus is the Son of God but that he’s offering this freedom from sin for free.  It seems absolutely stupid to us.  There is something deep down in us that does not comprehend how or why someone we don’t know would sacrifice anything, let alone their life, so that we can be free of something we consider so minor and live with everyday (our shortcomings) and offer us an eternity in heaven in return.  It’s insane!  It’s preposterous!

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I’m of course trying to get something accomplished in this life and I’ve again, as happens from time to time, been shown the big door.  Even though it would seem that that door is closing or in this case is closed, I have yet another meeting.  I’ve decided to go, but more out of curiosity to see if the door is closed all the way shut and not open just a crack, more than out of frustration and my chance to shoot both barrels off.

As the weeks unfold, circumstances seem to press in ever so slowly.  It’s in this time I believe that trust, faith, commitment, and perseverance need to show their radiant faces.  It’s easy to believe in the obvious, there’s no actual faith involved.  If faith is the evidence of things not seen, what does the evidence of faith look like?

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My mind is awash with busyness and the ponderousness of the gospel’s serious nature.  It’s just how I feel and that last sentence’s over complexity attests to it.

Down on the beach today I was reading Paul’s second letter to Timothy and it struck me how the new testament has a way of cutting to the deeper heart felt matters that the old testament may lack.  The truth is the same, there’s no denying that.  But there is a gripping of ones heart as you look inward to your own personal responsibilities and emotions.  It doesn’t allow you to sit as an unaffected observer like the old testament does.  Proverbs for instance gives you the tools to live a long life in a way that is ‘doable’.  Doing or not doing things to release good or bad in your life is much easier to swallow than the open ended commitment to follow Jesus that the new testament commands.

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Self forgiveness is an important factor in winning.  Imagine a knight in battle slogging away with heavy armor, chain-male, a double edged sword skillfully torquing through the air to slice enemy appendages clean off like a gigantor surgeon run amok.  Now imagine the mighty King’s knight getting a minor wound, having a bit of exposed hair nicked off, or dinting his armor butt plate because he sat on a rock; kneeling down in the midst of battle to chastise himself over it.

Days we fall and sin against our brother, neighbor, or our God are no different than the days we think we have it all together.  No matter which day it is it’s only His grace that allows us to live.  It’s His mercy and forgiveness that gives us life.  His sacrifice for our sins is in no way less required or necessary for our forgiveness on apparent good days as it is on days we fail miserably.

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Having a wife talk about family finances to her friends is like having a husband who talks about a wife’s hemorrhoids to his.  Both topics are private matters to their respective owners.  A man’s curse is his work and anything to do with work i.e. finances, employment, salary, promotions, bankruptcy, etc, good or bad is sensitive to him.  He wishes life to be more about adventure, having fun, relationships, good times shared.  This is a major factor in why a husband is drawn to his wife.  Her respect for his ‘curse’ brings him security.  A husband is not exactly eager to share information about these things if he feels as though his confidence will be betrayed.

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You can lower your cholesterol numbers drastically through a change in your diet but your doctor isn’t allowed to tell you how because it doesn’t involve any drugs or medications.  (This is a rather unknown and particularly harmful practice in the medical world.)  Anyway, under threat of prescription medication and rectal exam I finally lowered my own total cholesterol numbers from above 7 (very high), to 3.4 (even better than great), in a little over a month.  (Threat of a rectal exam is a great motivator.)

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I have to admit; I don’t know why Christians would want to argue this topic.  If you’re a creationist and you strongly believe in intelligent design etc and base those informed beliefs on scientific information but don’t believe in Jesus as your saviour I could see some point in your motivation to sway the opposing views.  Trying to force individuals or whole societies to believe one thing or another, even if they themselves don’t believe it, has been a form of oppression and control for centuries.  Some have intended it for good and others for their own gain but either way it’s wrong.

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The most important thing to remember in talking about or dealing with depression is that it is a real mental illness.  Those effected did not choose to have this illness and they do not want to have it.  They didn’t seek out someone with the disease and purposely exchange bodily fluids with them in the hopes of getting it, just like anyone with AIDS did not do.

To say to a person dealing with depression, “why don’t you just cheer up”, “it’ll be o.k.”, or “try to look on the bright side” is like pouring Hydrofluoric acid over a gaping wound.  You would have much better luck telling an amputee, “get off your lazy ass and go for a walk”.   Worst case scenario;  they may give you a forced smile then go home and promptly slit their wrists because you where the 457th person who told them that they are “alone and misunderstood”.

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What follows is a point by point argument based on factual situations and experience as to why one should be encouraged to carefully consider their decision to become an auto mechanic.  Although the language is strong, great care has been taken to present the facts.  After many long hours of consultation and deliberation with several  colleagues we agreed that this is an accurate representation of the matters at hand, (that being the information not disclosed at the start of one’s said career).

The combined years of experience represented in this rationalization span many many centuries, several different locations, and varying specific positions in the automotive technicians trade.  Positions represented include Service Managers, General Technicians, Service Advisors, Forman, Diagnostic Technicians, Service Writers, Drivers, Oil Jockeys, Warranty Clerks, Tower Operators etc.  I personally journeyed my way up from apprentice, Red Seal Technician, Dealer Certified Expert Technician, Head Diagnostician, Forman, and have experience being a Service Advisor and Shop Owner and am now a private consultant helping disgruntled customers get what they deserve from ineffectual dealers and repair shops.  So without delay, here is the ugly reality of the automotive technicians trade in point form.

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